Hello, this is EnZo

30 Oct 05 One of the Sundays where I actually stay at home from morning to night. AMazing… Why? Coz I was abit lazy to go church. Kinda lost interest due to my money problems. So stayed at home and isolate myself. Did some reading on Volume 3 of 3 Kingdoms… Kinda sian lo. Well, there’s 1 thing to chase away the moody feeling. And that is CURRY CHICKEN!!! Oh man. My fave dish of all time! And I love my mum’s style of cooking. Not spicy but has that curry flavour. Like japanese curry… Speaking of Jap curry. I stil cant forget the one I ate at Liang Court. I tell you, it’s the closet Singapore has to offer in Jap curry. Full points in the curry flavour, not spicy at all and in fact it’s kinda sweet. Now that’s the way Jap curry should be done!!! So all you cheats out there close shop and go home ok? You guys suck! Boo…

Well, just did some work out in the afternoon. Ya know, I’ve been trying to slim down k. May not succeed but I’m trying ok? At least I do look slimmer and my wrist has actually gone smaller too. Haiz… Wonder if it’s gd or bad. But who cares? Nobody so I wont even bother myself. LoL. Then dinner time, sinful curry chicken is calling out to me… even as I type now, can taste the curry in my mouth… Damn… Now it’s night time with nothing at home to eat….

Oh well… Watch Ong Bak and that Guy is damn cool! Freaking painful kicks and knee and elbows and punches… Is he even human? But he’s damn good. Fast, strong and agile. Like Jackie Chan 15 years ago… I grew up watching Jackie on the big screen ok? Though I miss the movie "The Myth" Damn, ppl say it sucks but hey. I wanna watch but seems either ppl watch liao, or they not free or they just dun like me…

Man, I really need to have a gf to waste my time on… Not used to having so much free time on my hands. And certainly not used to not having someone bothering me with cute, stupid, warm and loving SMSes.  And I oso miss that intimate touch and *er hem*. Ya know… That one la. LoL. Cannot say too much here, wait got underage kids see liao then their parents say I corrupt their innocent minds. (ya right…)

No woman no cry…

29 Oct 05 Sat is here man. Wkends! So wats the big deal? Nothing much la… Just finishing up my read on "Romance of The Three Kingdoms" volume 2. V interesting stuff to read if you have the time to waste. Actually, my interested in 3 Kingdoms started when I was playing the game on Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) many years ago… Thought it was a made up story by some bo liao author but I did some research on it and realised that it’s history! So sua ku now that I think of it. Then I influence my cousin into reading up on 3 kingdoms as well. But then wat he reads are comics… (actually I oso)

But now read up on the real stuff. But it’s in english translation coz my chinese sucks real bad. LoL. So finish volume 2 and went to Orchard Library to get the next volume to digest. Then went HMV to listen to some new stuff released in the market. Damn! Heard this band, Within Temptation. Nice music with a fantastic female vocals. Not bad. Oh well, I prefer prog metal like Symphony X and Dream Theater though. Coz they’re masters in playing their instruments… So pls dun come tell me that mainstream music is nice. They are not! Coz they all sound the same… Too caught up in the music that I forgot the time for DoTA! Ke Ren called me then I realised that I was late. LoL. Then rushed down paradiz to meet him 1st.

Alright, Paradiz liao… So what do guys do here??? Of course play LAN games lo. Then what? Look at pretty babes? Even if there are any, they’re most likely to be attached with their stupid gamer bf. Even if they are single, they won be babes. (get the picture???) Ya, so as usual, the whole session lasted quite long. But this sat was way……. too long… From 4pm to 11pm. 7 hours straight!!! What the f***??? Jesus Christ! Played so long coz we were waiting for Huey Shyang while playing ma. Poor guy… stil in BMT… ROTFL… And I was criticised by him for playing like Anthony. (abit of anthony here. he’s the worst player I’ve seen who pratically get scolded all the time by us for not playing normally.)

I gotta admit my play was lousy… Dunno why oso… Need some reflection on my mistakes. Oh well. Was not in a fantastic mood for that wkend coz of monsy issues…

After that stupid session. All of us realised that dinner had forsaken us dunno how many hours ago… It was 11:10 by the time we stepped outta Paradiz… So the only solution was fast food. (stupid thing is there’s a Mac at the basement but they chose to go PS to eat… eat what? Burger King. WOW! As if it’s a hell lot of difference from Mac… "-_- Heck care la, hungry liao just eat lo. Think BK come out with this English Chicken Burger. Quite nice leh. Must try it guys!

Oh well… So much for Library, games, dinner and retire for the night…

Ok guys. For those who know I do write songs, here’s another of my work. Did this in like 10 mins. Had roughly a music tune to go with the lyrics but I need a composer leh… Volunteers anyone?

Note: this is more of a heavy rock song.. Think Creed, Nickelback and 12 Stones.
Called "More of everything…" (totally original)

Walking pass my history and lust
Smiling upon my mistakes
A single swipe and away the dust
A second more and I’ll be on my way

Feeling this pain in me
Getting weaker
Feeling I couldn’t take it
Getting hopeless

Just a little more
And just a bit more
More of the time and
More of all

Why can’t I fight?
Why can’t I win?
Has it got to end this way
End this way…
That I won’t submit!!!

Picking up the pieces of my past
Slowly I embrace all of them
Too fast and they will rust
Another second and I’m on my way

Feeling this power in me
Getting stronger
Feeling I can let it away
Getting freedom!

Just a little more
And just a bit more
More of the time and
More of all

Why can’t I fight?
Why can’t I win?
Has it got to end this way
End this way…


Now I want to fight
And I want to win
I will end it in my way
End it that way…
Now you submit!!!

23 Oct 05 Went church for the 2nd time this month. Service was good. The pastor talked about being stewards. Stewards of GOD and how to serve men so that they will benefit from our deeds. V much applicable in our everyday life… That’s what I like abt going church, it teaches us alot of relevant lessons which we can apply in life.

Well, before I went church, had a big disagreement with my mum… She’s v against the idea of me going church. Haiz… Old set of thinking… So it spoiled my morning but GOD make my blues go away with the wind…

Met some new and old guys in church, namely, Joel and Johan (old), Moses and Timothy (new). And a whole lot more others who I dunno their names at all… Will get to know them this Sunday when I go there again ba. Hope someone will go with me, at least I wont b alone there talking to strangers lo… Waiting… waiting… waiting…

Went home for lunch. A new set of dish… "Claypot" rice. Well, it tasted like one. Very well done for someone who’s cooking it the 1st time. Gave my compliments to my mum… She’s a great cook ya. Hope my future wife can cook just like that. Then I’ll love her more… LoL… (I dun even have a gf and I’m thinking of a wife???)

Throughout the day, my shoulders and upper back hurts coz of the sun burn… Torture when ppl kept patting (slapping) my back… At that moment, feel like slapping them back lo… But I ‘ren’. LoL. Now still red lo…

Later that evening, went to meet Cindy coz I wanna change a new plan and get a new hp at the same time. Pls dun get the wrong idea, I ain’t rich lo, looking for a $0 non-cam hp but nowadays, everywhere selling cam hp liao lo… So din get anything in the end… Called up Gan coz Cindy needed to return him his T7 Sony Camera… What’s so nice abt that camera??? Seems like besides Cindy, lotza ladies like it too (ya know who u are) Slim but not practical la. Hello wake up pls! Dinner at ThaiExpress later on while waiting for Gan coz we’re so hungry. Think I ordered Yellow chicken curry… And she had erm………… curry soft shell crab ba.?.? Kept talking and eating till Gan arrived with his gf, Angie. Not the Angie I know in TP though… The one I know is slimmer and younger and prettier as well. Not to mention petite too. Abit lacking in height ar, if not, I’ll woo her liao. (Oops! Hope she dun see this)

And er, when they arrive liao then we chatted and the topic shifted to my sun burnt skin. So I suggested to them that we go Pulau Ubin for cycling (Abel take note) but the look on Gan’s face doesn’t convince me that he’s interested leh… But I’ll still go ahead and organise and see what happens lo… Hope it’ll materialise in the following month. I dun like planning an event for too long, will make me lose interest. (as in the example of Swensens dinner on 21 Oct 05)

Chatted and ate then we left. Cindy seem to have noticed that a magazine is giving away free make up kits. But it’s sold out at the 7-11 outlet in City Link. Then I as usual, nothing to do, went ard looking with her in suntec lo. (Fast forward abit, skipping some scenes which I rather not mention, only 2 of us know can le) Someone called her and I instantly knew who it was. LoL. Super 6th sense u can call it. He offered to meet up and I guess she was undecided whether to meet him ba. So we walked back to city link and slowly wait for things to happen…

*RED ALERT* All of a sudden, saw this 2 gay boys holding hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Walking as a couple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my holy Jesus, son of GOD!!!! (whatever that means) 2 boys walking hand in hand v happy somemore… So disturbing man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think Cindy cant take it as well and she quickly moved onto other topics….. Oh my GOD. What the hell are these 2 guys thinking??? V bored fooling with girls liao isit? Then wanna change appetite ar??? What the hell??? My eyes hurt lo. And now the image is so deeply engraved in my mind I cant erase it liao… Shit! Damn!

(Even now, it spoils my mood in writing le) Cut everything short here. Next stop - Ice cream at Gelare. Think she just wanna hv ice cream there while waiting for him to go off lo. Then if he dun wanna meet her, we can go off from there, if he wanna meet her, then slowly eat ice cream till he arrives… I know what’s goin on lo, I aint stupid… LoL. So talk somemore then when he’s arrived, I took my leave. Think I did something which I din expect I’ll do… Planted a kiss on her lips then left just like that. (Acting cool lidat sia) ROTFL!

Went to Esplanade (spelling) for a walk to clear my thoughts regarding my future and whats my plan. Took some photos of some paintings and art work. Quite creative… Hope I can post it up here.

–Death is only a transition to eternal life

22 Oct 05 And it’s cycling day for me. Met up with my fren, Abel and started cycling from 11 am to 6pm… V soon after, we combed all of east coast at least twice and we decided to get abit more adventurous. So we wandered out to Changi Airport Runway… But then, it deemed too dangerous as there was no more path for us to cycle and the only option was to cycle on the main road. Well, we kinda chickened out at that thought and decided to cycle to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal instead. in my whole 21 yrs, I’ve never heard of such a place let alone see it with my eyes…

Took a pic of it for memory. Nice experience today. Esp when we saw a plane took off. That feeling is just awesome. One of a kind. It’s an experience that will last forever. Though I’m at an airbase where planes keep flying, it was only military planes. *boo* We dun hv any padlock to lock up our bicycles so we looked for a descrete place but in the end, we left our bikes with an uncle selling stuff in his shabby little shop just outside the main gate. I bought drinks from him as a way for payment. (this works all the time man)

So we explored the terminal. Nothing much to see except for foreigners and locals going overseas to phuket, blah blah. We headed back to east coast for lunch as our ass hurts like hell with the bumpy road. Sitting down was a challenge for us but we succeed. So the next thing we did after lunch was to cycle leisurely and check out the babes around… Saw a few but that was all. Haiz… Only see but take no action…

After the whole saga, our skin got really RED and painful. Total ownage by the sun. Only thinking of goin home after cycling but Wenqing had to call for DoTA. Damn! It’s temptation was too overpowering and I submit to it’s calling. Luckily for me, it was sponsored. Well, 60% lo. But betta than none. Haiz. It’s boring playing 1 v 1 and somemore, I always had the upper hand. But I give water throughout the whole game and he’s able to win the match. Got a little bit too ya ya liao. Then 2nd game I own him with my battle fury. Yuor creeps suck man! I chop them down like trees. HA!

Then we played with other guys. But it’s not DoTA but it’s called Candy Mess or dunno what. Not like DoTA at all but stil enjoyable. Hope it was become an addiction. Still like DoTA. The best!

Alright guys, I gotta slp and go for church tmr liao…

To all those broken hearts and souls, will it be nice to reverse time and change things? It’s all bulls***. Not possible la. So why keep thinking of the past and not looking to the future?

Coz we keep looking at the good times and wish that it’ll remain lidat forever. When we look at the mistakes we done, we’ll think of why not that time I had done another action? Will we still be together by now? All these thinking will never do you good. Well, for those who gave in their all in a r/s, the impact will be great and of course, hard to heal. So ppl keep clinging onto the past and wont let go.

In the course of holding onto something not realistic, we tend to lost sight of other things happening in our life too. There are other ppl who’s concerned about you, there are some who will even do what they can to heal your wounds. There are some who wish they can be that person to bring you joy. Different ppl handle events differently. Others treat it as a game while others treat it as their life. So how hurt you feel is how much you treasure it.

My story is not worth mentioning anymore. Nobody now is interested anymore too coz the other party has oredi moved on even before things had ended. Why I still so stupid remain on the same spot? She oredi made it so clear she wanna let go of the past and embrace her freedom and future and yet I still on the same spot.

Here’s my ans, I do wanna move away. Ok? But Enzo is a sentimental guy who is so emotional. So it’s kinda difficult to move away. But hey, I’m accepting it well. I also know full well that she wants it to end entirely liao. So it’s fine with me. So taking up adv dip in biz management to get a feel of biz. Unfortunately, she’s taking it too. Dunno who’s the unfortunate one. Me or her. Anyway, I only wanna make it clear to her right now in my blog I wont have any ideas on her ok?

In my eyes, she’ll be that few chapters in my life that is known as history. Now is another set of new chapters in my life.

To cindy, dun worry, I wont call u or SMS u as much. I’ll make myself invisible as much as possible. So u wont get to see your past much. Happy now everyone? Dunno why I’m so pissed. Sick and tired of everyone asking me "Where’s Cindy?" "How come not with you?" We’ve broke up long time ago. Hello? Wake up your f***ing idea can? To all APU NSFs, I’m warning you guys. She and I are through!!! Get that message into your heads can? After so long liao but ppl stil cant seem to understand this fact.

21 Oct 05 = Dinner at Swensens. Finally , I have a taste of Swensens’ dinner and ice cream again. Was planning for this dinner for… 3 weeks liao… Everytime plan nice nice, then dear Mr *stupid* Edward *spoiler* Tan will screw it up by letting areoplanes fly off the runway. Even though he’s at Paya Lebar Airbase, also cannot anyhow fly aeroplanes de ma… Spoiler sia he… But nvm, the main thing is the dinner. Reason for the dinner is because I had a voucher last month. A voucher of $26 but then must spend $100 and above then can use… Kinda stupid lo. But that’s the way to earn money.

And after the whole dinner ends, our pitiful, always-lack-of-sleep Xu Peng (she bangs) show his 11B to us. And Taa-daa! It’s his birthday today!!! Wo-hoo! Sneaky guy… But he got sorta hint hint to me that it’s his birthday when I ask him for dinner. Stupid me for not catching the hint. (I always so slow to catch hints onez…) If I knew earlier, would have ordered a cake instead of that ice-cream full of guys saliva… (Looked kinda gay with 6 guys sharing a bowl of ice cream) Happy birthday to you! So right now, 5 more gays, oops I mean guys will remember your birthday. That is if memory serves us well.

Quite coincidentally, there’s a group singing happy birthday song. It sorta bring back sweet memories. V sweet memories. So long, I’ve celebrated 4 birthdays. 1 when I was a v small kid and the other 3 were organised by Cindy… The sweet lady who never fail to break my heart and mend them later on. Alas, everytime she mend it, she’ll safe keep it. Totally give myself to her… *FULLSTOP* Dun talk abt it liao la, only make me miss her more and more. How I wish, I fish, I dish… (wat the crap) Seeing couples hugging each other make me more sad on this night. Dunno why, but memories came fast and furious tonight. Dunno what happen also… Guess, I’m not the kinda person who enjoys loneliness. Thats why I pack my weekends with stuff. Sat will be cycling with my bro from morning to 6. Then most likely will hv dinner at someplace *undecided* Then go home rest my tired legs, followed by sleep then church on sunday morning…

To those who read my blog, take care and I love you!

PS:If things were much simpler, maybe we’ll be happier

19 Oct 05 ——> Went to enrole in Advance Diploma in Business Management at MDIS. Felt a surge of stress and pressure shooting me… Feeling quite stress thinking that my dad actually wanna sponsor me for this adv dip. He oredi paid for my dip in Temasek Poly liao. And he dun want me to repay him the money… He really invest his whole life in me liao le… And I only know recently that he called up CPF saying that he dun need me to repay him the school fees of $9000!

Was touched to learn of this news… Totally changed my perspective of my dad. To think I keep looking down on him and yet he’s still so noble. I’m totally blind and stupid and now I see the truth. So for him, I’ll work hard for this adv dip. Never letting my parents down anymore. Must buck up this time. It could well be the last chance in my life to study lo. So will work hard and provide well for them in their later years. Oredi v heart pain to see their health wither away with time… They are catching up on years and yet they still fight so hard.

Oh well, after the enrolement, went Queensway and hv dinner with Cindy and Mark. Quite weird that only me and cindy were chatting away and mark down there so lonely lidat… Anyway, he’s not my problem. Coz he’s there of his own accord. Or so cindy say, which makes him all the more pitiful. If dun want to consider him, let him know and pls convey the right msg across to him can??? Dun want him to waste time on you and yet you like so close to him. He advance on you, u oso dun say no. Of course he wont give up la. Haiz… How some women are lidat onez? Dunno is they stupid or wat? Wat you think may not be what guys think lo. Pls wisen up abit. Or else you’ll forever be in this never-ending r/s problems and make so many ppl suffer coz you dun make it v v clear to them.

Thank god, I kept away from my female friends, or else may end up like mark. LoL. I dun have much female friends to begin with. Even have ar, all qualities so gd then attached liao. LoL. Anyway, wish them all the best.

Love all and peace out dear Enzo’s friends…

18 Oct 05——–> Ya ya. Finally I’m on blog… Well, to entertain someone’s request. Anyway, just wanna let everyone know including you, ya and I mean YOU!!! will know from now on, I’m Enzo. Well, pls dun ask me why and what in the world does it mean or stand for coz I dunno. It’s after a character in a cartoon call "Reboot" damn long ago… The first 3-D cartoon I saw as a kid…. hmmm… 8 yrs ago? It just stuck in my mind since then. Or if you want, just link it with Enzo Ferarri. Either way I’m cool. Can call me Enzo from now on. Reason why I’m adding a name to my trademark SES, coz of some setbacks and a renew light in my life, I’m planning to adopt a new name to signify a new beginning.

As everyone knows, I’m single and well, still hurting from the drift/break/demolition/etc. But that wont stop me and put me down. I’ve decided to look to the future since someone made it a point liao.*FULLSTOP*

on 16th Oct 05, I’ve attended church service once more! Oh right man! And once again, I felt GOD. I felt renew, I felt hope coming back and my life brighter. I’m not trying to preach here but did I tell this to anyone? Whenever I’m in church, I feel solance and serenity. Something so valuable and sacred I dun think anyone can give me now. (Well, in the past there was) LoL. (ok ok, no more past sob stories again & again & again) I’m sick and tired of/from/by it. That was my first service after like 2 years? So planning to go there again this sunday. Hope my brother is free and not annoyed. LoL. No la, he so good to me, and he’s been plotting to convert me since ….. since….. 4 yrs ago. He’s been trying hard but always fail… Maybe this time round, I’ll go on my own accord… He’ll be very surprised. But nothing’s confirmed, still gotta see. Well, the truth is, I saw some nice and sweet looking girls in the church, so getting there is for the sake of knowing them. (I knew it!) Everyone will say this right? LoL. Up to u to think. If I’m such a person in your eyes, let me know ok? So I can pluck out a divine rapier and smash it through your worthless pathetic body to get that extra gold and exp. (I’m talking DoTA here man!)

Oh ya, speaking of which, any of my peeps here plays DoTA besides the usual suspects i.e Huey Shyang (Bone Fletcher), Wenqing (Medusa), AntHORNY (NOOBIE!!!), Jeremy (Crystal Maiden), William (…..) and Ke Ren (Dragon Knight). Looking for guys to join our horde so we can raid the WCG in X years time!

Eqn: X = ?

14th Oct 05 = drunk. Well, that seven night (Kee Yeh) called me for a drink. Obviously, he was feeling damn screwed by his so-called friend back in camp. So as a gd fren and a fond admirer of alcohol, I met him lo. Then the pub we went is "Roomful of Blues" with ocean city (ow yeong cheng shi) and Yin Kang. We oredi feeling blue by the event that affect him badly and we still go to a room where it’s full of blues… "-_- (ok ok I know it’s lame)

At first, only wanted to make sure he dun drink much coz he’s driving ma. But ended up, we call for more and more. LoL. Then I just lost control of myself. Started drinking alot and though I know I need to stop, I din bother… We drank Stella, then vodka then Hodgarden (spelling). I drank like only 4 mugs in between. Then by the 3rd mug, I oredi talking nonsense and shit and alot of other things you’ll never ever dream of me saying… I felt high and I couldn’t care less. Think reason is I haven drink for some time, then cant hold my liquor well. Feeling abit wobbly and almost fell down while standing. (so pai seh) That’s when they say, "Eng Soon, you wanna stop anot?" But being a b****** that time, I took their mug and drank 1/4 from it. I still dunno what went through my mind. Now I think of it, it freaked me out. But I’M LOVING IT!

A note to all my friends (good or bad) wanna go drinking, must ask me along. Then you’ll see a totally different me. I’ll say things like "F*** you! I’m not f***ing drunk, you d***! You hear your man saying? This woman in my hand is stella and I’m gonna f***ing drink it even though she’s yours!" While drinking, I’ll cite a few "poems" Luckily only 3 of my friends see the other side of me.